


Keep Dreaming

by niigoki



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, Multi, family au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 15:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19770664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niigoki/pseuds/niigoki
Summary: Occasionally, Mina would voice her wishes for a better life out loud. Then, her own brain would shout an answer right away.'Yeah, right. Keep dreaming!'





	Keep Dreaming

**Author's Note:**

> For @myouimina on twitter! Enjoy

Occasionally, Mina would voice her wishes for a better life out loud. Then, her own brain would shout an answer right away.

_Yeah, right. Keep dreaming!_

She wonders if wishing for something better is a sin, but she doesn’t really have the luxury to dream.

\--

“Thank you for shopping, have a nice day!” Mina smiles and bows slightly at the costumer as he grunts and grabs his groceries from the cashier. Not a very good day for the old man, she assumes. She doesn’t stop smiling, however, and calls for the next in line. It is clearly a teenage girl and she’s trying to buy some alcohol. “May I see your ID, please?”

“Ah, shit, I left it at home.” Her acting is incredibly unconvincing. “Can you let it slide this once? I’m over twenty, I just don’t look like it, I swear.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t sell you alcohol without an ID.” Mina has been through this countless times.

“I’m not lying.” The girl says again. “Come on.”

“I’m sorry, miss, but I can’t—”

“You must be fun at parties. No wonder you have a shit job.” The girl chuckles, slams the bottles on the table, and leaves. Thankfully, they don’t break.

Mina just sighs, puts the bottles away, and calls for the next costumer.

She should be used to it, the rudeness of others. The girl wasn’t wrong – she hadn’t been to a party in ages and her jobs were shit. Mina thinks about the apathy, the daily life of a 28 year-old woman who works at the supermarket at night because she has to work at a fast-food joint in the afternoon. In the morning, she had a third job: trying to be a single mother.

Her life really isn’t that easy.

It’s 10:00pm when she finally gets to leave. Mina takes her bike, puts on a helmet for safety, and starts riding all the way home. She’s glad the way back is safe, at least. She’s never heard of anything bad happening to women at night in this area. Mina tried not to think about it much; she had really bad luck.

Riding up a hill hurts her legs, but she does it every day. She curses her idiotic ex-boyfriend for buying a house on the worst possible location. But then again, maybe she shouldn’t complain – the guy left the house to her and the kids when he decided to vanish. Thinking about him makes her blood boil. She thinks of something else.

Like the look on her children’s faces once she’s back. Sana and Momo would probably jump on both her legs, making it impossible for her to walk. Chaeyoung would be sitting on her highchair, making grabby motions towards her, and mumbling something. She was too young to talk, but she had a hell of a voice. Mina smiles at the thought, and her legs hurt a little less.

She gets home after a 20-minute ride and opens the front door. “I’m ho—”

“Mommy!” Sana and Momo leave the couch and run towards her, hugging both her legs, just as she predicted. Mina laughs and ruffles their hair.

“Hey, you two.”

“How was work?” Momo asks.

“Was someone mean today?” Sana follows.

“Did you bring snacks?” Momo and Sana say at the same time.

“Boring, yes, and no.” Mina pinches their sides slightly to make them let go. “I thought there was ice cream in the fridge, still?”

“Auntie Nayeon ate everything.” Sana pouts.

“I did not??” Another voice comes from the couch. Nayeon has her head turned, unable to get up because Chaeyoung is on her lap, very focused on the cartoon playing on the TV. “You liars!”

“Yes, you did! I offered one bite and you took two!” Sana points at her, accusingly.

“You know what happens when you point at people, don’t you?” Nayeon smirks. “Your finger falls off.”

Sana yelps and brings her arm back, holding her finger against her chest. Momo looks at her own fingers with a frown, thinking hard and deep about all the times she pointed at her sister. Mina just rolls her eyes and walks towards the couch.

“You didn’t have to stay until this late.”

“I had to, actually. Chaeyoungie kept me hostage.” Nayeon bounces her legs a bit, making the baby move up and down. Chaeyoung whines and slaps the legs back into stillness. Nayeon giggles. “This girl is gonna be wild when she grows up.”

“I don’t want to think about it.” Mina sits next to Nayeon with a sigh. She hears small steps and soon Sana and Momo join her side on the couch as well. “Did you two have dinner already?”

“Yes!”

“And did you do your homework?”

“Yes!” Sana smiles.

“No.” Momo replies at the same time and flinches when her twin stares angrily at her. “I mean, yes. Sorry.”

“You two. Homework. Now.” Mina doesn’t have to say twice. The kids get up and move slowly upstairs with their heads hanging low.

“Goodnight auntie Nayeon…” The two say at the same time before disappearing into their bedroom.

“Night, brats.” Nayeon answers. She waits for them to leave her sight before smiling softly. “I hate how much I love them.”

Mina looks at her gently and holds her gaze. She doesn’t say anything. Nayeon waits for her, always waits for her. Mina thinks that this woman would wait for her forever if she asked, and feels her heart tightening. Nayeon deserved better than that. “Did you eat?”

“Yes. Did you?”

“I’m gonna make dinner now.” Mina says, but doesn’t move. Chaeyoung had fallen asleep on Nayeon’s lap. Mina smiles at her daughter. “She shouldn’t be awake at this hour, either.”

“You know your kids can’t sleep until you get home.” Nayeon gets up and she looks lovely with Chaeyoung’s cheek leaning against her shoulder. “Something I have in common with them.”

“Nay—”

“Go eat. I’ll tuck her in.” Nayeon’s eyes shine with the kindness of a divine creature that has no right to be as good to Mina as she is. They’ve known each other for years, even before the pregnancy. Mina should’ve listened to Nayeon when she warned her about the man she was dating. Nayeon never liked the dude.

He left Mina with twins and a baby, and she wouldn’t trade them for anything despite it all.

Nayeon goes upstairs and Mina moves to the kitchen. She’s so tired. She wished she had finished college; at least she would’ve been able to get a job that paid her enough to hire a weekly cook or something.

She opens the cupboard and searches for her usual ramen. She’s been eating those nonstop for the past week. It probably wasn’t healthy. Nayeon could never know or she’d have her head.

Mina grabs a pot and fills it with water, then puts it on the stove to heat. She sits on the chair and waits, head leaning on her arms. Her eyelids are heavy, and they drop at the comforting silence of her home.

She wakes up to the sound of someone turning off the fire and removing the pot from the stove.

“Nayeon…?” Mina rubs her eyes. “Hey, I was going to—”

“You didn’t even check the fridge, did you? Went straight for the ramen.” Nayeon isn’t mad. She just smiles and rubs Mina’s hair as she walks by, opening the fridge. “We cooked you some real food in the afternoon.”

Nayeon takes the plate from the fridge and it’s rice, kimchi, vegetables and pork – things Mina hadn’t seen in days. She feels like she’s dreaming, but also instantly worries. “Who bought all of this?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“But—”

“Don’t _worry_ about it.” Nayeon insists, putting the plate in the microwave to heat. “Sana cut the vegetables and Momo cooked the rice. You taught them well, they can handle the kitchen nicely for eight year-olds.”

Mina stares at the plate as it turns inside the microwave. To think Nayeon and her daughters took care of her to this extent. She was surrounded by angels.

“Are you crying?” Nayeon asks.

“No. Shut up.” Mina rubs her eyes and takes a deep breath. “A teenager was mean to me today, I wanted to slap her.”

Nayeon laughs, leaning against the wall. “Teenagers are a pain in the ass.”

“God, I’m gonna have three of them at home.” Mina chuckles. “They better not want to buy alcohol at fifteen.”

“Considering you got rid of every bottle after Mr. Dickface left, I think you’re safe.”

Mina laughs. “Mr. Dickface. That’s a new one.”

“I have at least two thousand incredible nicknames for your shit ex.”

The microwave rings and Nayeon grabs the plate, putting it in front of Mina. “Eat.”

The moment the pork touches Mina’s tongue, she moans. “Ok, now I’m gonna cry.”

“After you eat.”

Nayeon waits for her to finish, then she washes the dishes, then she goes upstairs when Chaeyoung starts crying to soothe her with her baby bottle, then she checks on the twins – who are already asleep after being done with their homework – then _finally_ she tells Mina she’s going home.

“Are you going to tuck me in, too? It’s all that’s left for you to do.” Mina teases her on the porch as Nayeon puts on her shoes.

“I would, but you’d yell at me if I tried.” Nayeon smirks.

“You’re right, I would.”

Nayeon gets up and looks at her friend. Mina swears that woman is shining. Always, constantly. “I’ll swing by tomorrow.” Nayeon says.

“You don’t have to—”

“I’ll bring my computer. I’ll be working like I usually do at home, Mina. I’ll just be keeping an eye on the kids at the same time.”

Mina knows she can’t win this argument and just sighs. “Ok. Thank you. Really.”

Nayeon just hugs her and Mina feels at home in her arms. Letting go felt like a sin. How could she step away from someone this ethereal? Mina almost laughs at the thought; Nayeon would kick her if she knew how high Mina thought of her.

Her best friend was a beacon of light, and more than once Mina’s thoughts wandered to dangerous areas. This warmth in her chest used to be platonic love, but she knew it’s been evolving to something completely different lately.

But Nayeon deserved someone who could take care of her and Mina couldn’t.

“Goodnight, Nayeonnie.” Mina mutters when they part.

“Night, Mina. Love you.”

She wanted to say it, too.

\--

She receives the news after her shift at the burger joint is over that evening.

“Fired?” Mina stares at her boss, mouth hanging open. “But why? Was it… was it something I did?”

The man wasn’t cruel, but that place had been struggling with customers lately, and deep down Mina knew this was coming. It was one of the reasons she’d been trying to find a new job. “I’m sorry, Myoui… but the restaurant hasn’t been able to keep up with things lately and you’re the newest girl… we had to make a choice. It’s truly unfortunate.”

Mina wants to yell, wants to tell this man what was really unfortunate. The fact that she had three kids to feed and no stable job. The fact that she had to work twice as much as anyone in that joint because she was careless and got pregnant too early, having to drop her last year of college because her ridiculous boyfriend got into her head and convinced her that he would provide for the family and all she needed to do was take care of the kids. The fact that her best friend was buying her things to make her life easier, even though Nayeon also had a low income and could barely make do living by herself.

“I understand.” But Mina doesn’t yell, because no one is to blame for her problems. It’s all her own damn fault, anyway. “Thank you for the opportunity, Mr. Yang.”

She bows, leaves her uniform with him, and exits the place with her head held high. She pretends everything is fine and that things will work out. Because she can’t have a breakdown in the middle of the street. She still had to work today.

Maybe the customers at the supermarket will be nice, for once.

\--

Nayeon is typing on her computer furiously when Mina gets home.

“Hey.”

“Hi, mommy.” Momo says from the kitchen table, then goes back to writing.

“Doing homework?” Mina asks gently.

“I’m helping Sana with hers.”

“I don’t like math.” Sana says and Momo pokes her shoulder to grab her attention again. Momo is good at explaining and Sana is good at listening. Chaeyoung is good at watching her sisters doing things even though she doesn’t understand them. Mina stops and allows herself a moment to be proud at how behaved and wonderful her daughters are. She remembers why she needs to get a new job fast. For them.

She moves to the couch, sitting next to Nayeon. “And you? Doing homework too?”

Nayeon hums. “Writing an e-mail to an asshole client.”

“Be nice, you don’t want to lose them.” Mina says numbly.

“Already did, I guess. He’s not happy with how I designed his logo.” Nayeon sighs, clicking the send button and leaning back with a grunt. “When I tried to explain why his idea fucking sucked, he got offended and told me he would look for someone else.”

“I’m sorry.” Mina replies, then rubs her face. “You’ll find new clients. You’re a good graphic designer.”

“I’m starting to doubt that.” Nayeon finally looks at her friend and frowns. “Are you ok? You look more tired than usual.”

“Yeah.” Her stomach growls. “No. I’m hungry.”

Nayeon chuckles weakly. “There’s leftovers in the fridge.”

“Good.”

The two women keep quiet after that, exhaustion taking over. Mina wants to talk about losing her afternoon job, but Nayeon is dealing with her own issues, so she doesn’t. She’ll tell her after she finds a new job; at least she won’t worry her this way.

Chaeyoung starts whining from the kitchen and that wakes Mina up. “Ok, ok, I’m coming.”

Nayeon waits a second, then sits back up, slaps her cheeks a little bit, and gets up to help Mina with the kids. She laughs when she enters the kitchen and Chaeyoung is gnawing at Mina’s hair. “She still does that?”

“I’ve been trying to make her stop.” Mina tries to untangle her mane from the baby’s mouth. “Chaeyoung-ah, what did I say? Hair isn’t food, baby.”

Sana and Momo, completely unable to focus on their homework at this point, laugh really loudly. Nayeon tickles Chaeyoung and that finally makes her let go of the hair, drool all over her mouth. Mina doesn’t even get mad anymore.

The twins start tickling Chaeyoung too, making the baby’s giggles echo through the house. Mina passes her to Nayeon, and she holds the baby above her head so Sana and Momo can’t reach; that doesn’t stop them from tickling Nayeon, so she runs away to the living room with Chaeyoung in her arms and two brats after her.

The homework, forgotten.

Mina lets Nayeon deal with this and starts warming up the leftovers.

At least the smile on her face is genuine now.

\--

“Sorry, we’re not hiring at the moment.” The owner of the shop turns Mina down.

“I see. Can I leave my resume with you anyway?” Mina tries her best and the woman begrudgingly accepts. Mina knows she’ll probably throw it in the trash the moment she leaves the store, but at least she tried.

Mina goes to the next shop. The mall is quite big.

\--

“You’re missing some coins. My exchange was 5,000.”

Mina frowns. “I’m pretty sure I gave you exactly that—”

“Can you even count?” The old man nearly shoves his hand on Mina’s face. “There’s only 4,000 here.”

Mina blinks, counts again, then opens the cash register to give him the rest of his money. “You’re right, I’m sorry sir.”

He roughly takes the coins from her hand and leaves, mumbling something about women being dumb and the market being shit. Mina swallows the frustration and forces another smile.

“Next.”

\--

Mina’s heart leaps a beat at the scene she finds upon getting home. Nayeon had fallen asleep on the couch, her computer still on. On both her sides were Sana and Momo, lying on each of her thighs, and on her lap was Chaeyoung, also snoring with a thumb in her mouth. The scene warmed Mina’s heart absurdly. She almost forgets about her issues.

She takes the phone out of her pocket and snaps a picture. She’d look at it when she felt discouraged.

 _For them_ , Mina thinks.

She caresses her screen, her thumb touching Nayeon’s face.

\--

“You’ve worked in quite a lot of places, huh? Restaurants, markets, stores…”

“Yes, sir. I have a lot of experience on retail.” Mina grins, putting up a confident face. This sounded promising, maybe she really impressed him.

“That’s very interesting. Specially for someone like you.”

That catches her off-guard. “Like me, sir…?”

“You’re an attractive young woman. I bet you’re pretty smart, as well.” He puts Mina’s resume on the table. “I’m just curious about why you’re looking for such a low-paying job when you clearly could be doing something else.”

This baffles Mina. Her looks or brains had nothing to do with this. Besides, did he think that she wanted to work on retail for the rest of her life? If any company wanted to hire her, she’d be employed by now.

Mina clears her throat, trying not to let this shake her. “I’m— without a college degree, the number of places that are willing to hire me are significantly lower, sir. And since I’ve worked on multiple areas on retail, it’s easier to be hired for this type of job.”

He chuckles, like she just told him the funniest joke. “Well, I get that, but diplomas aren’t exactly that important nowadays, are they? With the internet everything got so much easier. You could open an online business, become an influencer, or a… what are they called? Youtuber? Maybe an idol? Things like that, young people love it.”

Mina clenches her fists. “I don’t exactly… have the means to start a career like that, sir.”

“What do you mean?” He laughs louder. “Everyone with a computer and a camera are set for life, these days. I’m not trying to tell you that you’re too pretty for a job as a simple cashier, but… well, actually that’s exactly what I’m telling you!”

Mina wants to punch this guy. What was up with him?

He pushes her resume back to her. “Just think about what I told you, ok? I’m not hiring you today because I trust you can do much more. You’ll thank me one day.”

Out of every absurd reason to turn her down, this was probably the worst she’s ever heard. She really thought she had done it this time.

But life proves to be a bitch once more.

Mina takes her resume back and gets up. “Thank you for your time.”

She doesn’t shake his hand when he offers, and storms off the building, furious.

Mina walks for a bit, breathing heavily. Her heart was beating out of control and she wanted to punch something, anything. A wall would probably hurt. There wasn’t anything soft to punch out on the street. So she walks quickly, hoping for the anger to subdue. The man’s words keep looping inside her mind, together with his greasy smile. He smelled like rotten onions. She had to sit through that with a polite smile. Life really wasn’t fair.

Mina stops walking. She looks down at the resume in her trembling hands _. Too pretty to be a cashier. Become an idol, instead. A youtuber. Young people love it._

“Argh!” Without warning Mina tears off the paper, scattering the tiny pieces on the sidewalk. Some people watch discreetly, others just stop and cross the street. No one wants to deal with a crazy woman in the afternoon. They had respectable jobs to attend to.

“Fuck you.” Mina spits, then keeps walking.

Fuck everything.

\--

Nayeon notices something is wrong immediately. The moment Mina finally stops pacing around the house to sit on the couch with her boiling cup of ramen, Nayeon puts a hand on her arm, gently. “Alright, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Don’t worry.” It’s an automatic response, but it’s all Mina can do right now.

Nayeon rolls her eyes and turns her torso so she can face her friend, her full attention now on her. “Mina.”

She knew that tone. Mina sighs, and keeps eating to keep herself busy. She finally replies after swallowing the noodles. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Your life is hard enough without your own demons haunting you. Come on, you know I’ll listen.”

“Isn’t it time you go home? It’s almost midnight, Nayeon.” Mina regrets saying it the moment the sentence ends, but she’s still too angry at the world to think about her words. She flinches when Nayeon doesn’t answer, then looks away. “…Sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

And Nayeon, bless her soul, only smiles. “I know. You’re stressed. Tell me why?”

She really didn’t deserve her.

Mina eats a little more, then puts the cup down. She looks upstairs, where the kids’ rooms were. Everything is quiet. The girls were really sleeping contently. They would sleep until morning, and nothing in the world could wake them up. Even Chaeyoung was knocked out after her warm milk. Everything was peaceful.

Mina takes a deep breath. “I got fired from the burger joint.”

“Oh.” Nayeon slides her hand from Mina’s arm to her right hand, holding it gently. “You’re looking for a new job?”

“Yes. No luck so far.” Mina sighs, then closes her eyes, pressing her forehead with a thumb to try to get rid of her headache. “This guy today told me I was too pretty to be a cashier and that he wasn’t going to hire me because I should be an idol instead.”

Nayeon blinks. “He didn’t.”

“He did.”

“What the fuck?”

“Then I ripped my resume into pieces in the middle of the street.” Mina opens her eyes and looks at the ceiling. “I don’t even have a printer. I can’t waste paper like this.”

“I have a printer at home,” Nayeon squeezes Mina’s hand. “Too pretty to be a _cashier_?”

Mina actually lets out a weak laugh at how outraged Nayeon was at this. “I know.” She’s so tired. “I’ve heard that strippers make so much money.”

“You’re not becoming a stripper.”

“Cam-girls too.”

“Mina.”

“How much would you charge to design a cam-girl webpage?”

“For you I’d do it for free, you fucking weirdo.” Nayeon leans her head on Mina’s shoulder. “You’re not selling your body yet.”

“Yet.” Mina giggles. Maybe she’s seriously considering it. Maybe she’s just losing her mind. “Do you think Mr. Dickface would get me a job at his shitty car company if I asked—”

“Don’t you _dare_.” Nayeon interrupts, sitting up straight again. She grabs Mina’s cheeks, forcing her to look at her in the eyes. “We’re stripper desperate, not shitty-ex-boyfriend desperate.”

Mina loves Nayeon’s eyes. And face, in general. And all of Nayeon. “Yeah. Okay.”

They stay there in silence, looking at each other. It’s times like these, when Mina’s heart starts beating strongly, that she wants to jump into the unknown. For once. But her brain – always rational and annoying – stops her before she ruins a life other than her own. Nayeon doesn’t need this burden.

“You know what we need?” Nayeon says, letting go of Mina’s cheeks.

“Money.”

“To go out.” She gets up, closes her laptop, and puts on her leather jacket. “Let’s go. I know a nice bar.”

Mina frowns, like she hasn’t heard that word in ages. “That’s the exact opposite of money.”

“If you don’t let loose you will actually go insane by the end of this week.” Nayeon offers her a hand. “And honestly, I need a drink too. Do it for me, Mina.”

“That’s low.” Mina smiles lazily, then grunts, grabbing her hand. “You know I’d do anything for you.”

She thinks there’s a faint blush on Nayeon’s cheeks, but she can’t be sure. “Good. Put on the least expensive shirt you have and let’s go, baby.”

Mina laughs. Maybe she does need this.

\--

The bar is packed, which makes no sense for a Thursday. Maybe it was the most popular bar in town and Nayeon just forgot. When Mina asks, Nayeon just grins and pulls her by the hand inside. After squeezing themselves through a crowd of mostly drunk, happy people, the two manage to sit down at the counter, away from all the chaos of the main dance floor.

The song was loud and the place smelled like alcohol and cigarettes. Mina didn’t want to sound lame, but she honestly had forgotten how chaotic this experience could be. “I’m gonna go deaf.”

“You’ll be fine.” Nayeon replies, her voice muffled over the music. She turns to the bartender. “Hey, can we get two bottles of soju?”

The bartender just nods and leaves to get the drinks. Mina laughs. “God, I probably forgot what soju even tastes like.”

“Heaven.”

“Or Hell.”

Nayeon winks. “Depends on how your life is going.

Mina thinks for a second. “Yeah, Heaven is more likely.”

Soon the drink arrives and Nayeon and Mina take their cups, clinking the glass. “Cheers. For good things to come.” Nayeon says, then downs the drink in one go.

Mina doesn’t even try. She sips it slowly; the alcohol is not as strong as she expected, but still burns her throat a little bit. The aftertaste is incredible, though, and she feels her muscles relaxing despite the loud voices and music echoing against the wooden walls. God, she missed this chaos. “For good things to come.”

Their bottles are empty quickly and Nayeon orders two more. Mina can’t help but to worry about the price of the drinks, but Nayeon assures her that they won’t go over their budget for the night. Mina laughs and asks what budget? Nayeon just winks and clinks their cups again.

They talk about nothing and everything, and after a few more shots, Nayeon gets up. “Let’s dance, come on.”

Mina looks at her like she’s an alien. “I can’t dance.”

Nayeon smiles. “Neither can half these people.” She points behind her with her thumb. “That girl over there? You’d be a better idol than her.”

Mina looks at the woman in question and truly, her limbs were trying to do something. If that was dancing, then Mina was safe, probably. Nayeon grabs her hand. It’s warm and safe and Nayeon. Mina smiles and rolls her eyes, finally following her to the dance floor.

With so many people by their sides they can’t really move much, so they stick together, bodies squished as they start to move to the beat. It’s a good song, one Mina hasn’t heard yet. Maybe it was famous, since lots of people were singing to the lyrics. She’d have to look it up.

Her body is stiff, but Nayeon grabs her hands, moving them back and forth as they pretend to dance together. Mina laughs, dizzy from the alcohol and the warmth of the place. When she starts moving more on her own Nayeon nods and lets out a very loud “YEAH!”, letting her go. At one point the crowd starts jumping to the chorus and Mina and Nayeon follow them. It’s fun.

It’s _so_ fun.

Mina feels like she is soaring. She hadn’t had the time to have fun in _eight years_. That was so long.

Once the crowd stops jumping, Mina tries to find Nayeon. She’s a bit more distant from her, but still at an arm’s length. Nayeon turns her face and finds Mina, smiling at her. And she’s all Mina can see. Everyone else is tuned out, a blur in front of her eyes. Nayeon is all she can _see_.

Mina wants to get closer.

She wants to let herself go. She’s tired of hiding it.

She wants Nayeon. Wants her hands on her body and her mouth on hers. Wants to dance with her, look at her, go home with her every single day of her life. Wants her to be the second mother of her goddamn kids.

Mina wants Nayeon so desperately.

She’ll jump, headfirst.

Mina moves, one step.

Then someone blocks her; a guy, who accidentally trips on someone else and holds onto Mina’s shoulder for balance. She holds him out of instinct and when he realizes what he’s done, he immediately lets her go. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

Mina can barely hear him. “What?”

He leans closer to her ear. “I said I was sorry! I didn’t see you!”

“Oh!” Mina grins, embarrassed. “It’s no problem!”

He laughs awkwardly too, rubbing the back of his head. “I’m just gonna— yeah. I should go.” He tries to walk again, but the crowd squishes them together. The guy does his best to keep his hands behind him not to touch Mina and make the situation more uncomfortable than it already is. Mina realizes that, then looks at his face. He was clearly having a terrible time in the middle of so many people, face flushed and eyes almost brimming with tears. Mina then grabs his arm. “Come this way.”

He follows her, unable to move anywhere else. Mina looks over his shoulder and finds Nayeon looking at the scene, confused. Mina gives her a thumbs up, to say everything is okay, and Nayeon smiles gesturing back. Mina mouths an _‘I’ll be back’_ and takes the guy away from the dance floor.

She finds him a seat at the counter and he’s breathing heavily. Mina feels bad for him. “Excuse me, can I get some water?” She asks the bartender, who returns quickly with the drink. Then, Mina gives the guy a cup. “Here, drink this.”

He takes the cup with shaky hands and drinks. After a few seconds, he looks at Mina, voice weak. “Thank you. I’m sorry for that.”

“It’s ok, really.” Mina smiles, trying to sound friendly. He’s really shaken. “Did you come here with someone? I can help you look for them.”

He shakes his head. “Not really. I— I came on my own.”

“Oh.” That was weird. “Well, do you want to go home, then? I can call a taxi.” Mina stops. “From your phone.” She doesn’t have the money to pay for a random stranger’s taxi, but she tries to be helpful.

“Yeah. I’d like that. Thank you.”

“Alright. Drink more water before we leave, ok?”

He just nods and drinks. Mina really feels bad for this guy, but it’s weirdly adorable the way he obeys what she says. It kind of reminds her of her kids.

After he has calmed down, Mina escorts him outside and he gives her his phone to call for a taxi. She asks him to put on his address on the app and then they wait. He looks so ashamed of himself that Mina wants to cheer him up, but she doesn’t really know what to say.

Soon, the taxi arrives, and the guy turns to Mina before entering the car. “Thank you again, you’re really kind.”

“Don’t worry, anyone would’ve done the same.” Mina just smiles.

“Not really.” He chuckles. “Um, may I… know your name?”

And she doesn’t know exactly why, but she says it. “Mina.”

“Thank you, Mina. I’m Doyoung.” He takes something out of his pocket. It’s a business card. “I’d like to repay your kindness somehow, if you’d let me. Feel free to call me if you want. It’s okay if you rather not.”

Mina takes the card, bewildered at how polite he’s being. “O-oh, it’s okay. Thank you.”

He smiles then, and gets into the car. “Have a goodnight.”

After the taxi drives away, Mina properly reads the business card.

She nearly drops it when she realizes who that guy was.

Mina walks back into the bar. She had to find Nayeon. But Nayeon finds her first, grabbing her arm before she can dive back into the dance floor. “Hey! Where were you, I was getting worried!”

“Kim Doyoung.” Mina says. When Nayeon stares at her confused, Mina shows her the business card. “Kim Doyoung just gave me his business card and said he wants to repay my kindness somehow.”

Nayeon takes the card, still a bit drunk. “Who?”

“Nayeon, he’s the heir to the Kim Industries! His family is on the news everyday, they’re the—”

“The richest people in Korea.” Nayeon finishes the sentence, finally remembering. Her eyes open wide and she looks up at Mina. “Holy fucking _shit_.”

\--

Mina has no idea what to do.

After the bar, Nayeon took her back home and collapsed on the couch before Mina could ask if she wanted to stay. She simply sighed, stared fondly at Nayeon, and covered her with a blanket before going upstairs.

Mina stared at the card for at least an hour, her head running wild with thoughts. This could be the chance of a lifetime. She could ask him for something that could change her life for the better. Or maybe he just wanted to pay her coffee for the help, like a normal person. Either way, she had to be smart. Mina couldn’t blow this.

She had to persuade Kim Doyoung to give her a job.

Was this low?

Mina sighs, sleep finally taking over. She turns on her side and closes her eyes, the card still in hand.

She dreams about Nayeon.

\--

Mina was thankful that she taught Sana and Momo to wake up on their own when they had to go to school. The moment Mina realized that it was later than usual, she jumped out of bed, but the kids were already in the kitchen eating breakfast and ready to leave. Sana smiles when she sees her. “Morning, mommy.”

Mina smiles back. “Morning, babies.” She kisses the top of the twins’ heads and breathes out, relieved. “Sorry I woke up late today.”

“It’s okay, you should rest when you can. You work a lot, mommy.” Momo says in between toast bites.

“Why is auntie Nayeon sleeping on the couch, though?” Sana asks with a mischievous laugh and Momo snorts. Mina turns around and realizes that Nayeon was indeed still passed out from yesterday. She would probably have a hell of a hangover.

“She stayed up until late, working.” Mina lies, because the kids didn’t need to know that their mom sneaked out to go to a bar at midnight.

“She should move in with us already.” Sana says, casually. “Auntie Nayeon basically lives here anyway.”

The thought makes Mina’s heart leap a beat. She can’t deny that she thought about it before, but it just wasn’t viable. Moving all of Nayeon’s things to their house wouldn’t work, and Mina couldn’t possibly pay for the construction of a new room.

Well, sure, Nayeon could sleep with her, but—

_No, Mina. Get a grip._

“Auntie Nayeon has her own things to do in her house.” Mina ends up with a lame answer because it’s all she can think about. The twins just shrug and finish their breakfast, leaving the table. “I’ll wash your dishes; the bus should be almost here to pick you up.”

“Thank you, mommy. See you tonight.” The twins hug her tight and then walk past Nayeon, whispering in her sleepy ear. “Bye-bye, auntie Nay.”

Once they leave the house, Mina moves to the couch, sitting next to her best friend. She takes some time to look at Nayeon’s sleepy face. She looked so serene like this. Mina wondered if the moment she started to think Nayeon was beautiful no matter what was the moment she fell deep into this hole, never to come out again.

Mina pokes Nayeon’s puffy cheek with a finger. “Wakey wakey.”

Nayeon groans, swatting Mina’s hand away and covering her face with the blanket. “Hng.”

“I need your opinion on this.”

“Too early…”

“Should I call him?”

Nayeon grunts again. “Who…”

“Kim Doyoung. Maybe he can… help me. Help my family, somehow.”

“Hm…”

“I’m thinking about asking him for a job. Is this a shitty thing to do?”

“Yeah…”

Mina chuckles. “Then I guess we’re gonna have to open that cam-girl website.”

Nayeon grunts louder than before, uncovering her face. She doesn’t open her eyes, though. “No…”

Mina smiles down at her. She brings her hand to Nayeon’s scalp, caressing her gently. If the woman was a cat, she’d be purring at the gesture. Mina’s hand slides down, cupping her cheek. Nayeon’s skin was so soft and nice to the touch. It made Mina want to kiss it, most times.

She brushes a thumb on the corner of Nayeon’s mouth and sighs, removing her hand. “I’ll call him, then.”

Before Mina can get up, Nayeon throws her arms around her waist. “Don’t go…”

It breaks Mina’s heart. She wants to confess right then, how much she loves her, how much she needs her in her life.

Mina just leans over and kisses Nayeon’s cheek. “I won’t. I promise.”

Nayeon only lets her leave when Chaeyoung starts crying upstairs.

\--

They meet at a simple restaurant, per Mina’s request. Doyoung is dressed up like the richest man on Earth. He’s incredibly handsome. Damn, rich people were just unfair.

“I didn’t think you’d call.” Doyoung smiles as they sit down. “I’m glad you did. I would’ve felt bad for the rest of the month if you hadn’t.”

Mina really doubted that, but grins anyway. “Of course. I can’t possibly refuse a gift.”

He laughs again and maybe this is good. Mina hadn’t gone on a date – was this a date? – in a long time. Specially not one where she actually had to impress someone as a matter of life or death.

“Pick what you want from the menu, it’s all on me.” The way Doyoung speaks isn’t condescending at all, something that surprises Mina. She expected the son of the richest man in Korea to be a complete asshole to common folk like her. Maybe her idol-looks gave her an advantage.

Mina shivers at the thought, still angry at that old man. “T-thanks.”

She ends up choosing something simple for lunch – not because of the price, but because she really missed eating that dish. Doyoung orders the same, surprising her once again.

“Can I ask you something that will sound really arrogant of me?” Doyoung says after the waiter leaves with their orders.

“Sure.”

“Do you know who I am?” He scrunches his nose. “Yeah, that sounded really bad. Sorry.”

Mina actually laughs. “Yeah, I do. Kim Doyoung. I saw you in the news.”

“Right.” Doyoung avoids her gaze. “I hope I don’t intimidate you or anything.”

It’s weird, but he really doesn’t now that she’s sitting in front of him. “I thought you would, to be honest. But now that we’re talking it feels… normal?”

“Normal is good.” He grins. “I was hoping for a normal lunch.”

“Maybe my idea of normal is different than yours.” Mina says without thinking much, then bites her tongue. “S-sorry, I didn’t mean to sound—”

“No, you’re right. I’ve never eaten in a place like this.” Doyoung plays with the ring on his thumb. “But I rather make you comfortable.”

Mina nods and an awkward silence fills the table. She decides to break it. “So… why were you all alone at the bar yesterday?”

“Oh, that. I was… god, this will sound ridiculous coming from an adult.” He laughs shyly. “I sneaked out from home. I was really stressed and just wanted to go somewhere new. But I’m not really used to be squished, so I think I panicked at the dance floor.”

The way he avoids Mina’s gaze makes her think that he was waiting for her to start laughing at how ridiculous it all sounded. But Mina doesn’t. “It can be overwhelming as a first experience.” Is all she says with a small grin. “At least you didn’t get hurt.”

Doyoung looks back up at her. “Y-yeah. Thanks to you.”

They grin at each other and then their food arrives. Mina and Doyoung eat in silence, with occasional hums and comments on how nice the food tastes. Mina makes a couple of jokes and he laughs every time, which is good. She tries to find an opening for her request for a job, but she’s genuinely having a good time with him.

“So, what about you?” Doyoung asks once he’s finished, wiping the sauce from his mouth with a paper napkin. “What do you do for a living?”

Mina almost chokes on her rice, but tries to keep a composed façade. This was it, she had to play her cards right. Somehow.

Mina has no idea what she’s doing. “I… I work at a supermarket, actually.”

“Oh. Like a product manager?”

Mina almost laughs. Of course he would think that. “More like a cashier.” She corrects him without looking up from her plate.

Doyoung’s silence is crushing and she wants to run away. He’s probably disgusted with himself; the heir of the Kim Industries just had lunch with a supermarket cashier. Mina wonders what picture of her the tabloids will pick to put on their front page.

“I see.” He finally speaks and Mina still avoids his gaze. “Do you like it there?”

Mina stops cutting her pork and can’t hold back a chuckle this time. “Not really. But I can’t quit, I really need the money. Well, I need more money than I make there, so I’m trying to find another job, too.”

“You live alone?”

“Yep. It’s just me and the kids.”

“Kids?”

Mina chews her food before speaking. “I have three daughters. Twins and a baby girl.” She finally looks up at him and smiles. “They’re my treasure.”

And his face is not what she expected to see. Doyoung’s eyes shine against the sunlight coming from the window. Mina doesn’t know what to make of it. But his smile is so genuine, and it compliments his soft gaze well. Honestly, she’s taken aback by this man.

“You have to take care of your three kids alone, while working as a supermarket cashier?” Doyoung asks and there is not a single hint of pity in his voice. More like admiration.

Mina doesn’t want to cry. She laughs awkwardly and nods. He tears his gaze from her and looks at her plate. It’s almost completely clean, as if wasting food was a sin. Doyoung’s plate still has bits of food here and there; he grabs his knife and fork again and eats the rest, refusing to leave anything behind.

After both of them are done, Doyoung asks for the bill. Then he looks at Mina again. “Can I see a picture of your kids?”

She hesitates, but remembers the picture she took of them sleeping, curled against Nayeon on the couch, and decides to show him that one. He grins softly at the image. “They’re so wonderful. Who is this in the middle?” He points at Nayeon.

“A friend.” Mina says. “My best friend. She… she helps me with the kids when I’m working at night.”

“It’s such a nice picture. Thank you.” He gives her back the phone and the waiter comes back with the bill. Doyoung takes his credit card from his wallet – it is pitch black and Mina has never seen that brand before – and pays for their meal. They get up then, ready to leave.

Once they’re outside the restaurant, Doyoung asks Mina if she wants to take a walk. “I understand if you’re busy.”

“Not at all.” Mina still needed to talk about her potential job. “Anywhere in mind?”

“Not really. Take me to your favorite shops.” Doyoung grins and Mina wants to tell him she doesn’t really have a favorite shop because the only things she’s been buying for the past years are food and school supplies.

They decide to hit the mall and walk around for the rest of the afternoon. Every time Mina’s eyes catch something, Doyoung asks her if she’s interested. She refuses every time. In the end they simply chat and discover new things about each other’s lives.

Doyoung makes her feel safer than she expected, and spending time with him is so distracting that by the end of the day, she hasn’t asked him what she wanted. Mina looks at her watch and curses herself internally for being so slow. “My shift will start soon… I should get going.”

“Oh, already?” He sounds disappointed. “Time sure flies in good company.”

Mina smiles. “Thank you so much for lunch today.” She bows.

“Please, it was the least I could do.” He bows back, then stops, fidgeting with his sleeves. Mina tilts her head to the side, waiting; he seemed like he wanted to say something else. “I… I really had a good time today. Like I haven’t had in months. I mean it.”

“Oh.” Mina blinks in surprise. “You’re welcome…?”

Doyoung laughs quietly. “Thank you. Um… I wanted to— there is something I need to do, before speaking with you again. Can I call you after I’m done with my paperwork?”

“Sure.” Mina doesn’t know why he’s so nervous, but time is ticking, and she really can’t be late. “You have my number, right? I really need to go, sorry for the rush.”

“Yeah! I do.” He waves her goodbye. “Have a good night, Mina.”

“Night, Doyoung.” She waves back, then walks away.

She grunts all the way to the market, regret filling her head immediately. She should’ve known that she wouldn’t be able to ask him for a job blatantly like that. Mina was too much of a coward for that. He was too nice, too genuine, too _human_. And she’s a good person who is unable to treat people like objects. Like Mr. Dickface did to her.

Mina sighs, the weight of life clinging on her shoulders once more.

\--

He calls her when she’s back home, lying down on the couch, watching TV. Mina’s legs are on Nayeon’s lap and she shifts on her side to take the call. “Hello? Oh, hey.”

Nayeon keeps typing on her laptop, occasionally looking at Mina sideways to make sure everything was fine. Mina’s answers are monosyllabic at best, but soon turn into surprised gasps as she sits back up. Nayeon stops typing completely and just waits, staring at her friend. What was going on?

“N-no, I’m the one who… who should be thanking you.” Mina is smiling _really_ hard. Nayeon frowns. “Yes! I will, tomorrow first thing. Yes. Absolutely, thank you so much Mr. Kim. U-uh, Doyoung. Mr. Doyoung?” She laughs and blushes and Nayeon feels her heartstrings pulling. “I’ll get used to it, I swear. Of course. Goodnight, thank you so much.”

When Mina hangs up, Nayeon opens her mouth to ask, but she’s interrupted by a tight hug. Mina is all over her, laughing and crying all at once and Nayeon can’t do anything but to hug her back and wait. “Woah, what goes on?” She grins, too.

“Doyoung, he— he asked me if I was interested in working for him. As his secretary, which is— the salary is— Nayeon. Nayeon, he offered me a job that pays more than a cashier. A lot more. Oh my god?” Mina sinks back in the couch, processing that information. “Secretary to Kim Doyoung, heir to the Kim Industries? Is this real?”

Nayeon should be happy for her, truly, but something weights on her stomach. But she forces a smile and places a hand on Mina’s shoulders. “This. Is. Incredible. Mina, oh my god, this is lifechanging!”

“It is!” Mina turns to her so fast that their noses bump together. She stops at the closeness, eyes flicking towards Nayeon’s lips for a split second, before she hugs her again. “I got a job!”

Nayeon hugs her too. “I’m so happy for you.” She buries her nose on Mina’s hair, afraid of letting go for some reason. “I really am.”

\--

Mina quits her job as a cashier the next day.

\--

Two days later, she’s introduced to Doyoung’s father as his son’s new secretary. Her uniform is more expensive than anything she had in her wardrobe.

\--

Two weeks later and she finally gets the hang of it. She spends the entire day with Doyoung, closer to him than any other person in the company. She knows his schedule, his appointments, his work, his life.

They talk a lot and laugh a lot.

Mina is allowed to go home a lot earlier than before, and she can spend time with the kids now.

It’s the happiest she’s ever been

\--

Three weeks later, and Nayeon stops coming over so often.

\--

A month later, and she gets her first payment.

Mina uses the extra money to buy Sana and Momo chocolates, and Chaeyoung new pajamas for the winter.

She misses Nayeon’s company, but every time she tries to call her over, Nayeon is dealing with work issues.

Mina misses her so much it hurts.

\--

Five months later, and Doyoung asks Mina a question.

She doesn’t reply.

“…Can I think about it?”

“Of course. Take the time you need.”

“Thank you.”

\--

Someone knocks on the door and Nayeon gets up from her couch. Opening it brings her face to face with Mina’s tear-stained cheeks. Nayeon’s heart drops to her stomach instantly and she cups Mina’s cheeks. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“I don’t know what to do.” Mina says, voice weak and trembling.

“About what?” Nayeon rubs her thumbs on her wet cheeks. “Hey, talk to me.”

“He… I can’t accept. I should, but— what about…?” Mina sobs.

“Okay, slow down. Come in, it’s cold out here.” Nayeon pulls Mina inside and closes the door, guiding her to the couch gently. It’s the first time they see each other in a week, and despite the situation, Nayeon can’t help but to feel giddy at her touch. Life without Mina was just unnatural. “Start over, what happened?”

Mina takes deep breaths to calm down and rearrange her thoughts. She holds Nayeon’s hands, looking at them instead. “Doyoung made a proposal.”

Nayeon squeezes her hands. They are cold. “What did he propose?”

“No, Nayeon.” Mina blinks and more tears fall. “He literally proposed. To me.”

It takes Nayeon a minute to comprehend, but for as much as she wished for it to be a lie, she just can’t bend reality to her favor like that. “He… asked you to marry him?” Mina nods and Nayeon feels herself breaking in half. But she keeps steady, for her sake. “And what did you say?”

“Nothing. I didn’t answer him y-yet.” More tears fall. “I said I had to t-think about it. And he said he would wait.”

“Good. Yeah, that’s—” Nayeon is just saying words without meaning now, trying to fill the silence with noise. Mina is sobbing on her couch and she needs to be the supportive friend she always is. Mina’s rock and safe space. That’s what Nayeon is.

Except that right now, nothing comes to mind; no good advice, or words of comfort, gestures. Her mind is a blank and she feels a hole in her heart, strong enough to rip her apart at the seams. Nayeon feels her eyes brimming with tears, but forces them down. “Mina, okay, look at me.”

Mina does.

“You’re not—” Nayeon tries her best to think rationally again. “Fuck. It’s your choice. He’s not forcing you to do it. You’re just— you’re his secretary for fuck’s sake, isn’t this illegal or something?”

“I don’t know. Not really.” Mina rubs her eyes. “He said… he wanted to provide for my daughters in the best way he could. But the only way for me to have access to his fortune was if I married into the family. I had to take the name. On paper. It needs to be there. Kim Mina.”

Nayeon’s stomach churns at the sound of that. “Can’t he just give you money if he wants to help you so bad?”

“His father would never allow it. It’s… it’s so complicated. Rich people bureaucracies. There are schemes and names and blood ties into this.” Mina sobs, closing her eyes strongly. “If I accepted it… the fortune would also be rightfully mine. And in the future, it would belong to the girls. Sana, Momo, Chaeyoung, they would… their lives would…” Mina trails off and sobs harder.

Nayeon just pulls her in for a hug, looking up to stop her own tears from falling. This wasn’t how she planned it. Nayeon was supposed to be a famous designer at this point, recognized for her talent and efforts, hired by a big company to create logos for famous brands, her bank account full and healthy and—

And then she would buy a ring, the most expensive one, and ask Mina on a date at the very spot they first met all those years ago. The picnic would be wonderful, they would have a great time with the kids, and when Mina was alone for a few minutes at sunset, Nayeon would get on one knee, open the little box and—

And nothing.

It doesn’t even matter now.

Because Nayeon is broke, and Mina can finally live the life she and her kids deserved, after all these years.

Just not with her.

Nayeon inhales, closes her eyes, and speaks. “Do it.”

Mina freezes in her arms, pulling back slowly. “…What?”

“Accept it. Marry him.” Nayeon’s eyes are red. “I can’t even begin to fathom the numbers on his bank account. You wouldn’t have to worry about surviving ever again. Sana, Momo, Chaeyoungie? They will get to study in good schools. They’ll get to go to _college_ and actually finish it. And then study abroad, if they want. They’ll be able to chase their dreams, whatever those are. They will have a future, Mina. And so will you.”

Mina shakes her head, slowly. “…No.”

Nayeon squeezes her shoulders, her eyes brimming with desperation. “Listen to me! Is Doyoung good to you?”

“Stop it.”

“Is he good to you?” Nayeon insists.

“Y-yes, but—”

“Does he like the kids? Would he do anything for them?”

Mina starts crying again. “Yes—”

“Does he love you?” Nayeon’s voice cracks.

“It doesn’t matter!” Mina yells back.

“It _does_ matter!”

“No, it doesn’t!” Mina frees herself from Nayeon’s hold. “Because he’s not the one _I love_!”

And before she can think, Nayeon grabs her face and presses their lips together. That’s not how she pictured it happening. Their first kiss was supposed to be sweet and romantic, and to last forever. Instead it’s teeth and tears and desperation as Mina clings onto her like the universe will break if she ever let go. They kiss for all the times they should have – and for all the times they won’t ever again.

Mina cries and Nayeon cries harder.

When they part, Nayeon can almost hear the snipping noise of a scissor cutting a very sturdy red-string of fate.

\--

The wedding is wonderful. Sana, Momo and Chaeyoung are all dressed up in beautiful pink gowns.

It’s hard to lie when they ask why auntie Nayeon didn’t come.

It’s harder to pretend that the tears from when she says “I do” are from happiness.

\--

Mina isn’t sure if she will ever get used to living in a mansion. It’s too big and too lonely. She misses when her girls only needed to walk three steps to get to her room after having nightmares. Now, they have to walk three corridors.

Life is too easy. She no longer worked as Doyoung’s secretary. He told her that she was free to choose what she wanted to do now that money wasn’t an issue. Mina had no idea what she liked.

She takes an interest in gardening. Taking care of plants at their huge garden is therapeutic. Sana and Momo help her, too. Chaeyoung likes to sit on the grass and play with their puppy.

Doyoung is nothing but perfect. He’s a caring father – it took some time, but the girls got used to him in no time. He’s funny, charming, loves them like they were his own. He helps around the house, cleaning, cooking, watching TV with Chaeyoung when Mina has to take the dog on a walk. Everything feels like a dream.

Mina wants to wake up.

But she can’t.

She wants to wake up when the twins say they miss auntie Nayeon.

She wants to wake up when she checks the 426 messages she sent Nayeon after the wedding and there are no replies.

She wants to wake up when she dreams about plump lips that tasted like cherry, hands all over her body, a familiar laughter that fills her chest with color.

She wants to wake up when she looks at Doyoung and she’s still not in love with him.

She wants to wake up.

But she can’t.

Because she chose a future for her daughters over a future for herself.

And so, Mina keeps dreaming.

**Author's Note:**

> never make me write angst ever again oh my lord
> 
> Find me on my social media:  
> Twitter: @niigoki_  
> Tumblr: niigoki


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